The Burning of Vancouver

Vancouver Canucks lost the final game of the Stanley Cup finals. What happens? Shit we lost! Lets burn the city down! This is an interesting line of reasoning. How did they think? Did they think? Is this something that is general in contemporary Western society? We see these outbreaks of civil violence from time to time. What is interesting is the reasons behind; what triggered these events.

Gustave Le Bon (1841-1931) wrote a book in the end of the 19th century; The Crowd: A Study of the Popular Mind (1896), he called it. Le Bon claimed that a mass is no smarter than the most stupid individual within it. Consequently an army is no better than the worst soldier within in it.

Here Le Bon was supported by Genghis Khan, who answered a concerned and worried Mongolian general, looking at the Great Wall of China;

"Don't worry, a wall is no better than the worst soldier guarding it!" Of course Genghis Khan was wright and managed to penetrate the Wall and conquer Northern China.

One Canadian hockeyplayer once said:

"The game of hockey has often been compared with war, but it is more serious than that!"

Looking at the events in Vancouver on 16 June 2011, it seems that he got a point there, though I doubt that people being defeated by an opposing army, went on burning down their own city. I have always believed that was the privilege of the winning side! Be sure that this behaviour would even have surprised Genghis Khan!

Reinfeldt - the Statesman

In Sweden we have a Prime Minister that has proven to be an alert and awake statesman. Fredrik Reinfeldt is highly approved of among the Swedish citizens for his listening leadership. Sometimes he goes out among the ordinary people and sense their hardships in their everyday life.

The life of the born statesman is not easy. He and his family has been evacuated from their humble living quarters in the Sager's Palace, and forced to move to another appartment. As many Swedes the Prime Minister is feeling the pressure of paying a rent that eats a large part of his salary. Thus, he is ably to feel the same emotions as Swedish nurses and teachers. The part left when the rent is paid is just a small fraction of his pay as a Prime Minister. I would like to thank him for listening to the people, sharing their burdens, feeling with them and being awake and handling our affairs. How can anybody match this?

Oh, I almost forgot a tiny and not very important detail, in fact, a mere footnote; Reinfeldt does not pay his own rent, that is the task of the Swedish taxpayers. But he feels with the Swedes, be sure about that...

Fredagskatastrofen

Först måste jag erkänna; jag är från Örebro. Där tar vi aldrig något för givet. Tvärtom vi målar alltid upp ett värsta scenario och blir glatt överraskade när det inte blir så. Det lärde vi oss vid sådana historiska tillfällen som då IFK Göteborg, de raringar, hälsade på 1970 för avslutning av fotbollsallsvenskan. Till saken hör att 1969 vann IFK fotbollsallsvenskan. Nu var Örebro SK ofina nog att besegra IFK och sparka ner dem till division 2. Götebrogsupportrarna rev staden på väg hem.

Nästa traumatiska händelse var när stadens stolthet ÖIK skulle ta steget upp i Elitserien i hockey. Det fanns bara ett litet aber i vägen. Nåt konstigt gäng ingen hade hört talas om tidigare; Väsby hette de visst. Naturligtvis, då örebroarna för en gångs skull krupit ur sitt skal och anade ljusare tider, då inträffade den totala och optimala katastrofen; svänggänget från Väsby lyckades vinna matchen med 1-2.

Hela den pessimistiska staden sveptes in liksom i en våt filt av självförbråelse. Spelarna flyttade till andra klubbar och klubben lades ned på grund av ekonomiska oegentligheter.
Så som örebroare i förskingringen finns den där taggen kvar i hjärtat; förhäv dig inte, utan var beredd på det värsta... så blir du inte besviken. Ibland är det ändå så att man sänker garden och vips så händer det; vardagskatastrofen...
Denna fredag satte jag glad i hågen igång att tillreda ett spännande recept: Färgglad falurisotto hette den kulinariska läckerheten. Optimistiskt läste jag in vad som behövdes och inhandlade attrialjerna.

Den stressade nutidsmänniskan är ju dessutom van att dela in tillvaron i delheter. När dess delheter sedan delats finns det inga kopplingar mellan dem. Varorna köptes in och på fredagseftermiddagen skulle det hela tillredas. Mums!

Med stigande förvåning börjar jag göra iordning ingredienserna. Märkligt med 600 gram benfri lax i en falukorvsrisotto... men okej falukorven kommer väl på slutet?

Grovsalt och gurka verkar ju mer normalt. - Hmmm, en matsked dijonsenap... ja det är ju klart... senap och korv det går ju ihop... 4 matskedar matolja, då steker ju inte korven fast... 1 matsked rödvinsvinäger... ja är det inte det så är det ju vitvinsvinäger, det är det ju i allt nu för tiden. 1 matsked flytande honung och en dl hackad dill, salt och svartpeppar... hmmm lite trist kryddning tror jag... plus 2 dl crème fraaiche och 2 matskedar vatten... jojo men var är falukorven... Vafalls, ingen falukorv... hur ska det då bli en falukorvsrisotto?
Nåväl det framgår väl av "Så här gör du" delen.
Steg 1: Koka upp en gryta med vatten och tillsätt ris, lök och buljongtärningen.
Steg 2: Låt koka i cirka 20 minuter under lock på svag värme.
Steg 3: Skär falukorven (se där, där var den), paprikan och rödlöken i tärningar. Lägg falukorven och grönsakerna i grytan och hetta upp. Servera med lite sallad till.
Här någonstans fullbordades sammanbrottet. Ingredienserna passade helt enkelt inte ihop. Inköpslistan stämde inte med receptet. Och ett gott råd: laxrisotto tillagad på detta sätt är inte gott... middagssällskapet såg förvånade och skeptisk ut... i den ordningen...

Vardagens små katastrofer

Observera att björktrasten på bilden inte nödvändigtvis har något att göra med texten nedan.

På väg till jobbet idag höll jag på att bli påflugen av en björktrast. Det här var inte den första incidenten med denna typ av fågel. I förra veckan cyklade jag genom ett grönområde och blev påflugen avg en arg trast. Den flög rakt in i framhjulet på cykeln. Argt kraxande flög den i en looprörelse och kom tillbaka för att flyga in i framhjulet igen. Den här gången rök en hel del fjädrar. Trasten flög dock argt kraxande vidare.

Jag vandrade vidare och då jag passerade en mindre sjö fick jag syn på två skäggdoppingar. Skäggdopping numero uno hade en smaskig groda i näbben och förevisade den för skäggdopping numero due. Allt för att reta skäggdopping numero due tycktes det. Slutligen svalde skäggdopping numero uno grodan hel och hållen.

För ett par månader sedan observerade jag en sörjande gräsandshanne på banvallen, också på väg till jobbet, framför honom på banvallen låg hans väldigt döde kompis, som verkade ha blivit påkörd av tåget. Jag knäppte en bild, men tyvärr var det med mobilkameran så det går knappt att se vad den föreställer.

Vad tyder då allt detta på? Oreda i fågelvärlden? Ett omen om världens nära förestående undergång? Trädgårdstomteguiden föreslår att vi ska spå i kaffesump för att utröna svaret. Han påstår att det är så ekonomerna gör när de försöker förutsäga vad som ska hända på aktiemarknaden.

Epilog: ... senare samma dag kamikazeflög en kaja in i mitt kontorsfönster... är de ute efter mig?

Ödets ironier

Den reinkarnerade veganen återföddes till sin fasa i Köttkulla!

Today Thursday was the ceremonial ending of this part of our Mongolian education project in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia. Ten lectures at the Mongolian University for Science and Technology (MUST) and one held at the Tsesee Goun Management College was finally done. It felt rather good actually. My method in education can best be described as when Wallace and Gromit build the railroad at the same time as they are running the train. The ceremonial end was a lunch meeting downtown UB with dean G. Batkhurel and my assistant here Anarzul Dorligsuren. The Mrs. and I and our Mongolian friends met at the Mongolian BBQ downtown UB for lunch.
The establishment itself seems to have changed owner since the last time (think it was in 2004 or 2005) when it was owned by a Mongolian and an American. Now it seems to have been overtaken by a company called Nomads (surprise?). Since the last time the American influence on the establishment has seemingly diminished. What are the main impressions of Mongolia 2011? After all there has been some 20 years since the transfer from totalitarian rule to democracy?
On Sukhbaatar square demonstrating herders from the rural areas protest against the criminal coalition government of Mongolia (to their understanding). Mongolians I’ve been talking to claim that all politicians are liars and frauds.
My personal opinion is that this is a direct effect of how international organizations as the UNDP, the ADB and the IMF treat developing countries as Mongolia. They put pressure on Mongolian politicians by talking about where the limitations of economic policies lie. Thereby the Mongolian politicians loose the national economic sovereignty and cannot fulfill any promises given in democratic elections that has economic implications. Thereby the political process is deprived of its meaning. It becomes as described in Seinfeld’s definition of his and George’s TV-series within the Seinfled TV-series and its theme and layout: “It’s about nothing!”
If you remove the economic content of politics, politics turns into a meaningless ceremonial. It’s my opinion that neoliberal policies, designed to deprive politics of economic content actually ruins democracy of its meaningful content. If we want to continue to have a democratic society neoliberal aspirations to de-politize different areas of society must be combated. When democracy has been changed into meaningless ceremonial it is simply too late.

Mongolian politics and new tidings

Today Thursday was the ceremonial ending of this part of our Mongolian education project in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia. Ten lectures at the Mongolian University for Science and Technology (MUST) and one held at the Tsesee Goun Management College was finally done. It felt rather good actually. My method in education can best be described as when Wallace and Gromit build the railroad at the same time as they are running the train. The ceremonial end was a lunch meeting downtown UB with dean G. Batkhurel and my assistant here Anarzul Dorligsuren. The Mrs. and I and our Mongolian friends met at the Mongolian BBQ downtown UB for lunch.
The establishment itself seems to have changed owner since the last time (think it was in 2004 or 2005) when it was owned by a Mongolian and an American. Now it seems to have been overtaken by a company called Nomads (surprise?). Since the last time the American influence on the establishment has seemingly diminished. What are the main impressions of Mongolia 2011? After all there has been some 20 years since the transfer from totalitarian rule to democracy?
On Sukhbaatar square demonstrating herders from the rural areas protest against the criminal coalition government of Mongolia (to their understanding). Mongolians I’ve been talking to claim that all politicians are liars and frauds.
My personal opinion is that this is a direct effect of how international organizations as the UNDP, the ADB and the IMF treat developing countries as Mongolia. They put pressure on Mongolian politicians by talking about where the limitations of economic policies lie. Thereby the Mongolian politicians loose the national economic sovereignty and cannot fulfill any promises given in democratic elections that has economic implications. Thereby the political process is deprived of its meaning. It becomes as described in Seinfeld’s definition of his and George’s TV-series within the Seinfled TV-series and its theme and layout: “It’s about nothing!”
If you remove the economic content of politics, politics turns into a meaningless ceremonial. It’s my opinion that neoliberal policies, designed to deprive politics of economic content actually ruins democracy of its meaningful content. If we want to continue to have a democratic society neoliberal aspirations to de-politize different areas of society must be combated. When democracy has been changed into meaningless ceremonial it is simply too late.

Mongolia's new political landscape?

My input into the Mongolian education sector was terminated for this time today. Yesterday I finalized a course called "Public Administration and Business in the European Union" at the Mongolian University for Science and Technology (MUST), where I've been given a series of ten lectures. The students seemed happy enough. Hopefully this state of things will continue over the examinations. Today I held a single lecture at the Tsesee Goun Management College on the topic "Mongolian Democracy 1991-2010". It was en exposé over my own election obeservations since 2004 and my careful readings of reports and overviews of earlier elections. I had the idea that the election in 2009 was the last one, but now political development in Mongolia has taken a unppredict turn as longterm dominant political actor Mongolian People's Revolutionary Party (MPRP) has split into two. First, the main part taken back the old name Mongolian People's Party (MPP) and a fraction has broken out under the leadership of former Prime Minister N. Enkhbayar and under the old name MPRP. This has caused a dispute taken to court where the MPP claim the right to the MPRP name.
Politically this split decreases the possibility to predict the outcome of the upcoming election in 2012. This circumstance is very exciting for a political scientist like me. First, the political landscape has thereby changed. Second, nobody can tell for sure which election system will finally be used? Probably there are more question, but they have to wait for a more thorough analysis when time and space allows it.

Mongolian Politics

The MPP Flag on top of the restored MPRP building in Ulaanbaatar.

The MPP Symbol

A week ago I landed in the Mongolian Republic en route from Beijing. I've not been here for two years, so I was surprised to hear that the Mongolian People's Revolutionary Party (MPRP) had changed their name into Mongolian People's Party (MPP). Possibly changing their name back to what it was before 1921, or just erasing their communist past. It cannot have been an easy task to change a name in use for 90 years. Its like a trademark for political stability in Mongolia.

The revolutionary part has not been entirely washed away, as their new flag is identical to the French tricolour, with a roselike flower in the middle. However, this change did not come about without protests, as the former Prime Minister and President N. Enkhbayar decided to start his own party, retaking the familiar name of MPRP. The result was that the renamed MPP decided to take the case to court and sue Enkhbayar and his associates. That's where things stands at the present.

Former PM and President N. Enkhbayar

Former President N. Bagabandi

The idea is not new, though, as the former President N. Bagabandi also presented ideas that got political commentators to speculate if he would start his own party after the termination of his presidency. It turned out that nothing came out of this. However, the result seem to be that approximately 20 years after the downfall of communism, the former Communist Party has finally split into two parts.

For the upcoming election in 2012 this means that the result becomes rather unpredictable. MPRP stood for stability in Mongolian politics, as it possessed a superior organizational build-up compared to their opponents in the opposition.

Gradually this changed as the Mongolian National Democratic Party (MNDP) became their coalition party after the election in 2008. After this cooperation (starting in the mandate period before 2008) the MNDP became more and more integrated into the power institutions that preserved MPRP's grip on power. As grip over the Central Election Committee (CEC) decreased after the election in 2006, as the chairman came from the MNDP, the total control of the MPRP started to erode.

However, much can still happen, as we will have to wait for the court decision on the legality of the name of Enkhbayar's party. How will the MNDP respond to this? Where will the legitimacy of the MPRP go? To the MPP or Enkhbayar's party? What kind of policies will evolve out of this?

Oporto in Portugal

Three days ago we had a minor road accident in the tiny town of Felgueiras, in the inland of Portugal. Our left front wheel was damaged and we had a minor brake failure. We managed to reach our hotel in Entres-os-Rios and to travel around the countryside in the Douro Valley. We arrived yesterday in Oporto with our wrecked car. The car-rental-company proudly presented their insurance policy (or actually as it turned out, their insurance company's policy). Oh no, in the policy it was to our astonishment written that the insurance policy did not cover a) windshield or glass damage; b) damage on tires. I told the two guys that the damage done to our car was a little beyond a flat tire. Then they presented another unexpected exception: The insurance policy did not cover damages inflicted on the car from below... Suddenly I remembered an old scetch from "Marty Feldman Show". Feldman is trying to understand the insurance policy in order to find out what kind of damages the insurance do cover. He and the insurance agent go over case after case, but there is always something that makes the insurance company able to claim that they cannot pay for just that particular type of damage. In the end Feldman gets fed up and asks: "- What exactly do the insurance cover?" The insurance agent looks at him seemingly surprised and answers: "- This insurance policy covers only collission between the insurance taker's vehicle and a rhinosaurous on a one-way bridge!" I think that finally has reality been catching up with Feldman's satire...

The Sun is Shining Bright

Finally me and m wife have reached Esposende, Portugal. Safely we made our way out of the horrible climate of Sweden. Travelling from arround zero to five degrees to fantastic 24 degrees and sunshine. Yesterday we took our little Hyundai on a daytrip to Galicia, Spain. We had a very expensive dinner at the Roman Restaurante in Pontevedra. My wife ate a tournedo and drank some Rioja wine, while I took a Galician hot soup and scallops with rice. We had plans on going to Santiago de Compostela, but we ran out of time and decided to turn arround in Ponteverde instead, and return to Portugal. On the way north we had a lovely lunch in Viala Praia de Acostar, in the sunshine, viewing out of the tiny little bay. We had tapas, water and some espessos. Strolling along the beach we saw some sandpipers och a lot of local fishermen and women fishing from the shore. Back in Esposende we spent the evening in a local pizzeria, eating pizzas and drinking the local beer, Superbock. Actually they had a locally brewed stout. Not the best ever, but quite okay. On the TV Benfica, Lisbon played Porto FC. By the sound later in the evening, cars blowing their horns and people yelling and cheering in the street, we concluded that Porto won the game. Assuming that the locals were Porto fans. Which is not for certain, as everyone familiar with football in Southern Europe knows. You might actually be a fan of a club very far away. My friend Rafaele, for instance, lives in Bari, in Southern Italy, but is a fan of Juventus, from Torino in the north. The footballers were not the only disturbance here though, as for some strange reason the local lighthouse blows out a strange sound every minute. I asked the portier why and he said that it was a warning to the fishermen on their boats trying to go out during lowering tide. I asked him if a warning sound being on frequently and almost all the time lost is warning value...

Trädgårdstomteguidens vinskola

Den första och kanske viktigaste vinkunskapen är hur man skiljer mellan röda och vita viner. Här finns en del osvikliga knep att ta till: Ett sätt är hälla en slatt av vinet, som du funderar på vad det är för sort, på en vit bordsduk. Då det testade vinet lämnar en lila fläck efter sig, så är det nästan helt säkert fråga om ett rödvin. Ett annat sätt för riktiga vinkännare är att på bara på smaken avgöra om vinet är vitt eller rött. Då finns en del karakteristika att ta fasta på: vita vinerna smakar i regel ättika, medan de röda mer smakar som stämpelfärg. Det senare försöket utförs så att man genom att suga på en vanlig kontorsstämpel och sedan jämför smaken med ett vin, i syfte att konstatera om detta är rött eller inte. För att blanda bort korten så har vissa vintillverkare emellertid sett till att blanda in vissa smaker som eliminerar stämpelfärgssmaken och ättikssmaken. Detta avspeglas då i priset som då blir ohemult högt. Undvik därför onödigt dyra viner.

Till fiskrätter, såsom fiskbullar, fiskpinnar och matjessill föredrar de flesta vitt vin, medan man till kötträtter såsom falukorv och pyttipanna bör ta ett rött vin. Besvärligt blir det bara om man tar fiskbullar med hummersmak, då ett rosévin kan vara att föredra. Kycklingpyttan är också rätt knivig, eftersom inget kan sägas vara fel i detta fall (se avsnittet om rosévin ovan). De riktiga vinkännarna köper då detta i specialvin specialistaffären, medan den mer ekonomiske får tillgång till denna specialité genom att blanda vitt vin med en slatt rött. Ett slags grogg med andra ord. En annan specialité är det berömda portvinet, som är ett vin som man serverar i porten. Har man inte någon port, kan man bjuda på det i trappuppgången eller i hissen. Gärna i en brun papperspåse för att få till den där rätta stämningen.

I de fall då man väljer att servera väldigt torra viner bör man se till att det inte är tvärdrag eller att någon av gästerna råkar nysa, ty i sådana fall dammar vinet lätt ner i lägenheten. Då man serverar ett torrt vin är det därför lämpligt att ha en dammsugare i beredskap eller ha kontakt med ett lämpligt företag som levererar hushållsnära tjänster. Se upp för ovälkomna extra kostnader vid vinkonsumtion (kommande artikel om faran med att dricka onödigt dyr, svår att uttala och otäck alkohol).

Då man själv ibland tvingas bära hem sina vinflaskor från Systembolaget, gör man klokt i att köpa ett lättvin, så att det inte blir för tungt att bära. Lättviner har också den fördelen att det känns lättare i huvudet dagen efter än då man valt ett väldigt tungt vin. Ett varningens finger bör höjas för de tunga vinerna. Inte nog med att de tynger ögonlocken framåt natten, de har också följdverkningar dagen efter, som sendrag, hjärnskakning och sprängande huvudvärk.

I de fall då man vill bjuda viltkött bör man välja något slags vildvin, medan man till grillat svett och annat vidbränt kött serverar riktigt brännvin. Flamberad renstek sköljer man givetvis ner med renat, men det hörs ju på namnet. Kom ihåg att vinkännedom är två procent smaklökar och 98 procent bondförnuft. Det hörs ofta på namnet vad förpackningen innehåller.

Ord, fraser och uttryck som du ska undvika att säga när du druckit vin:
• Oöverträffat
• Innovativt
• Preliminärt
• Kvastskaft
• Gliringar
• Ogenbratt (umgås inte med folk som heter så)


Ord, fraser och uttryck som är väldigt svåra att säga när du druckit för mycket vin:

• Västkustskt
• Konstitutionerad
• Substantiera
• Tillvägagångssätt
• Tvagningsförbud
• Frustrerande

Ord, fraser och uttryck som är i stort sett omöjliga att säga när du druckit alldeles för mycket vin:

• Tack, men jag vill inte ha sex.
• Nej, ingen mer sprit för min del.
• Ledsen, du är inte riktigt min typ.
• Jag tror inte gäddbullar passar till det här vinet.
• Je t’aime… (undvik därför Frankrike och södra Belgien)
• Ich liebe dich (undvik därför Tyskland, Österrike och England; i det senare fallet kan det bli fatalt om det sista ”h:et” uttals som ett ”k”).

Till sist: vin kommer ofta i konstiga förpackningar. Lättast är den så kallade vinboxen, eftersom den är jord av papper och plast och innehåller mycket vin. Man behöver då inte hålla reda på allt det där krångliga med lätta och tunga viner. En annan vanlig förpackning är vinflaskan. Den finns i många olika utföranden, varav en del är väldigt ömtåliga, men lätta, medan andra är tåliga och tunga. Vilken man väljer är en avvägningsfråga rörande hur fumlig och stark man är. En tredje är tetraförpackningen, vilken är lätt att stuva in många av i kylskåpet. En fjärde är plastflaskan, som man dock inte ska använda sådana finesser som vakuumpump på. Den ekonomiske har det självklara valet klart:: vintunnan, som är tidlös, stilren och innehållsrik. Mycket nöje!

Nature Strikes Back?

Nature is a funny thing as long it is postioned inside your TV-set. In reality it can be mean, evil and nasty! In the 16th Century a Swedish noble man named Carl von Linné went out into nature and started the systematic work of mapping it and to name all plants and living beings he could find there. However, Linné had a problem; he had to explain nature so that ordinary people understood what he was talking about. In order to that he took traits from human life, culture and habits and transplanted them into flowers and animals. Others followed him and we could learn from books dealing with nature that birds and animals lived in marriage like forms. Nature was made a mirror picture of human life - that was human life as it was in northern Europe in the 16th and 17th centuries.
This continued into our time when people start to address this as what is being "natural". Every thinking human must be sceptic about such a discourse. It has nothing to do with reality out there in nature. A lion or a wolf does not kill another animal because it is evil and a killer, it kills because thats what lions and wolves do in order to survive. In philosophy this kind of explanation is called a tautology... an explanation in which the answer contains parts or the whole question. Or a circular definition.
So why is the Garden Gnome Guide caught in the mouth of an old female elephant? Maybe he said something stupid that annoyed the elephant. Or he might have interfered in some way with some foodstuff the elephant was interested in. Or he might have done something many, many years ago which he had forgotten, but obviously not the elephant. Mythology tells us that elephants have very good memory capacity.
The following story will illustrate this. A little boy went with his father to see when a circus came to their small town. It was a big event in the small town and people stood along the main street as the animals and the people of the circus paraded before them. Among the animals was a group of elephants and among them a very young male elephant and this was the young elephant's first parade ever and he was probably as excited as the little boy. As he passed the little boy, the boy took out a piece of chocolate and showed it to the little elephant. The little elephant was overjoyed and tried to catch the piece with his trunk, but the boy was quicker and took it out of reach and laughed at the little elephant...
Many years later the same circus returned to the very same town and the boy was now a grown man with a son of his own. He remembered his youth and the excitement he had felt when the circus came to town and he took his son to give him a similar experience. As the elephants passed, first among them marched a giant of an elephant and as he laid eyes on the father he immediately gave the man a strike with his trunk. So you see, this was the same elephant, still remembering the chocolate bar he once was promised but never got...
What can we learn from this? Elephants never forget? Of course not! This is a fable and the purpose of a fable is to give animals human traits and interprete the story to give advice to humans...
What did the Garden Gnome Guide learn? Beware of old nasty elephants!

Life on the Wild Side

Living a dull and un-exciting life? Be cool! There's a cure! Join our tour around the world with the Garden Gnome Guide and the Combat Gnome. Unfortunately today the Combat Gnome got interested in the Safari Guide's guns and rifles and during that study our dearest friend, the Garden Gnome Guide, this timid and frriendly creature, got busted by a lioness. Real bad! As we can see a gnome's pride, the hat got severly damaged. Of course, our friend doesn't go on a safari naked, but has brought with his huge collection of identical gnome hats.
There has been a discussion within the gnome community to have an exhibition showing the world the enourmous variety among gnome hats. A dream would be to show the famous talking gnome hat, the listening gnome hat and the seeing gnome hat. But first you have to find them and that is a task tried by many and so far without success.
How the tragedy above ended? Well the Combat Gnome got hold of a huge gun and scared the lioness off... pity there was probably some dissapointed cubs somewhere behind her...

Stilpoäng

I dagens samhälle är det oerhört viktigt att det man gör ser rätt ut. Överallt ska vi bedömas och mätas för att se om vi är nyttiga individer i samhällsapparaten. Det har en figur som kallar sig utbildningsminister bestämt. Alla ska mätas. Så vi måste nog ändra på vår allmänna livsinställning det går inte längre att föra samma förslappade stil. Vi får skärpa oss. Det blir fler och fler övervakningskameror och det innebär att vi blir inspelade på fler och fler ställen och i fler och fler situationer. Vi måste alltså inse att vi egentligen alltid är presumtiva skådespelare i en möjlig film. När som helst kan vi hamna på till exempel Youtube till allmän beskådan. Det tål att tänka på! Någon kanske sitter där och granskar våra insatser och poängbedömer dem och sedan en dag blir vi rannsakade och finner att vår poängskörd helt enkelt är för dålig... Vad händer då?

Exhausted at work?

Do you feel exhausted at work, or perhaps you think you have a dull and monotonous work and long for something more exciting? We sent out our team, the Garden Gnome Guide and the Combat Gnome to explore possibilities. Looks exciting doesn't it?

Russian New Year 2011

Hi there all dwarves, gnomes and folks. This is a late report on Russian New Year Celebration 2011. The Combat Gnome was sent to Moscow because we thought he was better equipped to deal with the KGB culture, or as it is renamed today, FSB culture, than the more peaceloving Garden Gnome. Unfortunately, new year is celebrated on 1 January in Russia also, which meant no extra celebration for the Combat Gnome.

Standing before the Kremlin, looking at the fireworks a strange character approached. There was something familiar with him. Something looked as someone the Combat Gnome had seen before. It was a Gnome allright and the Gnome asked for matches to light his lamp. Unfortunately the Combat Gnome left matches and Molotov cocktails at home in order not to annoy the Russian authorities.

- I have to light my lamp, you know, said the familiar looking Gnome, you know I reinvented this holiday in 1947 in Russia, so actually they are celebrating me and my enlightened regime.

The Combat Gnome had no idea of what he was talking about and saw him leave the celebration annoyed of not having a shining lamp in his hand. After being intoxicated by a number of Russian vodka shots the Combat Gnome lost track of his thoughts, space and time. The last thought he had was that despite the Russians makes their own champaigne, they still drink a lot of vodka during party hours... lots of them...

The day after he sent an sms to Gnomeline studio: "I think I met Alexandr Lukasjenko yesterday..."

New Year Celebration 2011

Dear dwarves, gnomes and folks, this is the Garden Gnome Guide reporting indirectly from the celebration of the Chinese New Year 2011, on the third of February 2011. There is some kind of peculiar delay here. After our new year celebration at Gnomeline I felt I needed more of that, so I went on a world tour looking for celebrations of new year. Luckily different people celebrate new year att different times of the year, which means there's a lot of celebrations going on out here.

Behind me is the celebration of the year of the rabbit going on. I was told that someone that someone born in the year of the golden rabbit is nice, though a bit introverted, well suited to become a teacher. I myself am a goat, which means that I have a character based on intelligence, creativity, dependability and calmness. This means in principle that you may trust my reports...

Away from the Daily Turmoil

The Garden Gnome Guide felt fed up with everything and took his best friend Piggy with him and left fo the Arctic, which can be wonderful this time of the year. Spectacular sceneries. wildlife in abundance! What can beat that?
Away from everyday politics as when a Swedish politician argued that fat people should be extra taxed for their unsound lifestyle. Furthermore he thought people that falsely got money out of the welfare system should be paraded in public, dressed in hyena-suites. The Garden Gnome Guide felt that society had hit an all-time low and left.
All this and all the exitement during the Anti-Santa Terror Campaign made him long for the stillness of the Arctic. As he was padling his kayak through the stillness he became aware of something disturbing the quite Arctic scenery. A disturbance of an unwanted sort...

Oh yes, it was that horrible scumbag, Professor Anthrax, having a disagreement with an angry Polarbear. The Garden Gnome Guide wisely choose to ignore this incident and leave the result to nature...

Capture of Terrorist Leader

- Good evening dwarves, gnomes and folks! Today I, the Garden Gnome Guide, can proudly present to you our greatest achievement up to now. We've captured the legendary terrorist leader, known as Santa X. He is suspected to be behind the bombing of the Gnomeline Studio and the the destruction of the Detention Centre at Gnomantanamo Bay. What is your opinion Professor Svinhufvud?
- It is the consequence of ordinary and continuous detective work that finally paid off and led to its' capture. This is a really mean and nasty character. They don't get much worse than this specimen! Lets see if we can communicate with it! Hey you useless Santa imitation, what can you say in defence of yourself?
- This is an outrage! I tried to deliver X-mas presents to my family and suddenly a lot of thugs attacked and abused me! I protest against this kind of treatment!
- You hear! It has no insights into its' problems! Its actually in a state of total denial! They all are like this! Their stories are stereotypes, which no one can believe. All tell the same tale! Still they are convinced of their innocence. They act as if they were high on some unknown drug that totally distort their perceptions. They cannot be prosecuted... we have to hold them in detention until we find a cure! Its sad really!
- That's all dwarves, gnomes and folks! We'll be back if there is any sensational developments!

Sexual Abuse or Free Love

- Tonight I, the Bluegnome is downtown Dwarvesville to try and interview Gnomas Foxy and Doxy, and to try and find out what really happened between them and mr.Xhantar. Is it possible for me to get an interview with you two ladies?
- It is possible, but if we don't like the questions or issues brought up we will terminate the interview on the spot.
- Okay, I understand that! Mr. Xhantar says that what you're saying and accusing him of is all a pack of lies. He claims that you had sexual intercourse with him just because he is famous and afterwards you accussed him just to get some extra cash from the media selling your story. How do you respond to that?
- He is lying of course! he is the kind of man who thinks that the world is a private candy-box just for him and that he can do anything he wishes to. In that respect he is omnipotent! Like a god!
- Oh, but he claims that you presented quite another story until you got associated with your lawyer mr. Castlestream?
- Of course mr. Castlestream is our legal advisor and we put full trust in him and his professional skills. He has also told us what to say and when to say it! In accordance with his advice, this interview is now finnished!
- That's seems to be all for now dwarves, gnomes and folks!


- Luckily we got hold of a taping of that interview and we have the material to compare it with another interview undertaken by the always reliable Garden Gnome Guide, at the recording studio of Foxy and Doxy.
- What is your opinion of mr. Xhantar, Professors Duodenum and Anthrax?
- They are scumbags and are capable of anything to get away with the illegal activities they are involved in. When we charged mr. Xhantar, they immediately started a smearing campaign against us and our good reputation. Business looks really bad now for us, because people seems reluctant to get involved with us. The old saying, where there is smoke there is also a fire, is becoming true! And they are guilty as hell, all three of them!
- I thank you for your cooperation and I have the pleasure to invite you to work at Gnomeline with the entertainment department. It is a small compensation, but it is something to fend off the inconveniences created by Xhantar, Duodenum and Anthrax.
- Gee, thanks a lot!
- So you, dear viewers, see that it all boils down to who you believe in: either the two Gnomas Foxy and Doxy and their legal advisor mr. Castlestream or the academic side, consisting of Professors Duodenum and Anthrax and their associate mr. Xhantar.