- Today we have here with us in the Gnomeline Studio, the distinguished Professor Ambjoern Svinhufvud. Welcome Professor Svinhufvud.
- I’m very pleased to be welcomed! In some studios I’m not so welcome…
- What do you mean?
- I tried yesterday to get a reply to that dreadful charlatan Anthrax, but this newly started channel turned me down and claimed that it was put in dispute if I am a professor or not. I put my best associates on to it and it turns out that this channel is sponsored by Anthrax and two companies he usually work for – in other words, sheer corruption.
- So that channel, which name we won’t mention, is not run according to the ethics and morals of broadcasted media?
- The content of what they broadcast have the same news-value as a commercial promoting the sales of neatly packaged cocaine.
- That seems as a harsh evaluation of a channel that only has been operating for two days. And yesterday that channel and this one were shut-down because of the celebration of the Gnome New Year…
- Well I and Anthrax go years back. He has the moral of an alcoholic locked into a liqueur store…
- He criticised you and your Manifesto of Shortness rather forcefully on X-mas day, didn’t he?
- That fool! He does this all the time! I present something and he present the opposite! I prefer shortness and he prefer length… A couple of years ago I presented a theory of how gnomes reproduce themselves. Of course my theory claimed that gnomes reproduce sexually. They simply have sex, get pregnant and give birth to baby gnomes. I did some terrific field work back in those days and managed to catch some gnomes in the act, which actually proved my point. But what did this charlatan Professor Victor G. Anthrax do?
- Please enlighten us?
- He presented another theory, taken right out of the blue, claiming that gnomes were a sort of mushrooms or fungi, who reproduce like in yeast fungus gemmation. He thereby suggests an asexual reproduction cycle, which is in total contradiction with my theory. Back in those days he had a slimy handy-man who actually faked some photos that were supposed to show a gnome gemmating its offspring. Ridiculous in my view!
- So everything he does is fake and fraud?
- Oh yes, he can’t spell words like honour, truth, probability and proper use of statistics. What he tries to do now is to take away the victory we achieved in our struggle last week. He is actually selling out all the real interests of small people and hoping to be gratified by the authorities.
- Is he that bad?
- In fact, he is worse! Just look at the screen on your right and you will se a film taken by a Wallraffing journalist as Anthrax hunted polar bears in the Arctic. He shot baby polar bears just to get the furs and sold them to some obscure rich people in Eastern Asia. For the money he launched a sinister campaign against the civil rights of extremely small people. His aim was to take away every human right for people shorter than 75 centimetres. He is truly a nasty piece of work. Look on your left, there you have the Garden Gnome Guide with one the pigs that were rescued during the pig liberation this year, and you don't want to know what Anthrax did to that little piglets mother... I have difficulties to go to sleep when I think about it...
- I’m very pleased to be welcomed! In some studios I’m not so welcome…
- What do you mean?
- I tried yesterday to get a reply to that dreadful charlatan Anthrax, but this newly started channel turned me down and claimed that it was put in dispute if I am a professor or not. I put my best associates on to it and it turns out that this channel is sponsored by Anthrax and two companies he usually work for – in other words, sheer corruption.
- So that channel, which name we won’t mention, is not run according to the ethics and morals of broadcasted media?
- The content of what they broadcast have the same news-value as a commercial promoting the sales of neatly packaged cocaine.
- That seems as a harsh evaluation of a channel that only has been operating for two days. And yesterday that channel and this one were shut-down because of the celebration of the Gnome New Year…
- Well I and Anthrax go years back. He has the moral of an alcoholic locked into a liqueur store…
- He criticised you and your Manifesto of Shortness rather forcefully on X-mas day, didn’t he?
- That fool! He does this all the time! I present something and he present the opposite! I prefer shortness and he prefer length… A couple of years ago I presented a theory of how gnomes reproduce themselves. Of course my theory claimed that gnomes reproduce sexually. They simply have sex, get pregnant and give birth to baby gnomes. I did some terrific field work back in those days and managed to catch some gnomes in the act, which actually proved my point. But what did this charlatan Professor Victor G. Anthrax do?
- Please enlighten us?
- He presented another theory, taken right out of the blue, claiming that gnomes were a sort of mushrooms or fungi, who reproduce like in yeast fungus gemmation. He thereby suggests an asexual reproduction cycle, which is in total contradiction with my theory. Back in those days he had a slimy handy-man who actually faked some photos that were supposed to show a gnome gemmating its offspring. Ridiculous in my view!
- So everything he does is fake and fraud?
- Oh yes, he can’t spell words like honour, truth, probability and proper use of statistics. What he tries to do now is to take away the victory we achieved in our struggle last week. He is actually selling out all the real interests of small people and hoping to be gratified by the authorities.
- Is he that bad?
- In fact, he is worse! Just look at the screen on your right and you will se a film taken by a Wallraffing journalist as Anthrax hunted polar bears in the Arctic. He shot baby polar bears just to get the furs and sold them to some obscure rich people in Eastern Asia. For the money he launched a sinister campaign against the civil rights of extremely small people. His aim was to take away every human right for people shorter than 75 centimetres. He is truly a nasty piece of work. Look on your left, there you have the Garden Gnome Guide with one the pigs that were rescued during the pig liberation this year, and you don't want to know what Anthrax did to that little piglets mother... I have difficulties to go to sleep when I think about it...
- What happened?
- Nasty experiments with cosmetics... I will say no more!
- Please!!!
- I cannot, but I can tell you that I even heard rumours that he sold his own mother for clinical research when he was a student…
- We thank our eminent Professor Ambjoern Svinhufvud for sharing these facts with us and turn to other news this evening…
- We thank our eminent Professor Ambjoern Svinhufvud for sharing these facts with us and turn to other news this evening…
Inlägg
Inga kommentarer:
Skicka en kommentar