- Good day to you all and a Merry Merry X-mas, especially for all you smallish creatures. This night there was a tremendous development in the continuing struggle for pig liberation and advance of the interests of short people and creatures. On the screen on my left you see the build up just before the gnome forces join the pigs, the dwarves and the rest of the volunteers. On the screen of my right you see the PATALAP forces right after their humiliating defeat. They are put right in front of the Alfred Satire Gnome, who tell them what to do. As we see they are no longer in their uniforms and attack equipment, but naked... With us tonight is the hero of the day – the Garden Gnome Guide – how would you describe the events that led to this unexpected victory?
- Well I don’t think it was unexpected, I rather expected exactly this development all the time. You could actually say that it was inevitable.
- But how did you manage to do it?
- Well, lets say it was a variation of the same strategy that the famous strategist Sun Bin used in the battle of Ma-ling in 352 B.C. Sun Bin and the Qi forces faked their hasty retreat, and behind them they left a sign on a tree. It was dark and as the Wei forces reached the tree they lit a fire to see better what the sign said and that is when the Qi archers fire their bows. We did the same. Left the city hasty and left a sign in small letters on a wall. We did put in some mis-spellings knowing that in the PATALAP forces there are quite a few people with great control needs. So they tried to figure out what the sign said when pulled the plug on them...
- Pulled the plug???
- Well, in a figure of speak, we had laid out a big net that was ignited by the flash of a certain amount of light. We got them all and the result you see on the screen there on the right.
- Spectacular, isn’t it? What happens now?
- All the pigs in the land will be liberated of course and the government will have to deal with the Manifesto of Shortness... I think that will do for a start... then of course we will have a look upon climate change, corruption and illegal trade. In the end I see a world pretty much looking like a fine garden...
- With lots of gnomes...
- With lots of gnomes...
- Well I don’t think it was unexpected, I rather expected exactly this development all the time. You could actually say that it was inevitable.
- But how did you manage to do it?
- Well, lets say it was a variation of the same strategy that the famous strategist Sun Bin used in the battle of Ma-ling in 352 B.C. Sun Bin and the Qi forces faked their hasty retreat, and behind them they left a sign on a tree. It was dark and as the Wei forces reached the tree they lit a fire to see better what the sign said and that is when the Qi archers fire their bows. We did the same. Left the city hasty and left a sign in small letters on a wall. We did put in some mis-spellings knowing that in the PATALAP forces there are quite a few people with great control needs. So they tried to figure out what the sign said when pulled the plug on them...
- Pulled the plug???
- Well, in a figure of speak, we had laid out a big net that was ignited by the flash of a certain amount of light. We got them all and the result you see on the screen there on the right.
- Spectacular, isn’t it? What happens now?
- All the pigs in the land will be liberated of course and the government will have to deal with the Manifesto of Shortness... I think that will do for a start... then of course we will have a look upon climate change, corruption and illegal trade. In the end I see a world pretty much looking like a fine garden...
- With lots of gnomes...
- With lots of gnomes...
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