X-mas 18 days away

Yesterday night the Gnome Combat Group was informed of a couple of pigs being held prisoner in a house in the suburbs of a larger city. In the shadows of the dark winter night they invaded the garden and started the staring treatment. The staring treatment may go on for years and often make people to abandon their gardens and finally their houses. These house owners were not of the type that could stand this treatment for very long. And after a short while those living in the house sent out a negotiating team, to persuade the staring gnomes to go elsewhere and harass somebody else.

The Garden Gnome Guide showed to be the leader and presented the harsh terms of the Combat Group:

1. All the pigs in the house should immediately be released and hand over to the Gnome Combat Group.

2. If any of the pigs were hurt or killed the Gnome Combat Group would implement the very special "non-growth" curse in the garden, which in practice would mean that nothing would grow in this particular garden for the next two decades.

3. The terms would be met within the span of three hours otherwise the "non-growth" curse would be implemented, then also stretching out to include every minor or child living in the house, who would immediately stop growing.

The house-dweller went pale and returned into the house. After 30 minutes the house dwellers decided to release the pigs held captives in the house.

This operation was successful, and according to Ambjoern Svinhufvud leading artificial dwarf and chief analyst of Gnome Combat Operations, it was only because the house-dweller's attempts to phone the police proved unsuccessful, as the operator decided to ignore the emergency phonecall and put it among the "nutter"-category. A house surrounded by aggressive garden gnomes? Come on, who had heard about such a thing? The operator actually told the caller to go back reading Harry Potter and stop using valuable police force resources... there were actually people in need out there and basket-cases like the caller ought to be glad that he wasn't arrested and put into some kind of psychiatric asylum, packaged in a straight-jacket! Svinhufvud continued and said that the fact that many people did not believe garden gnomes to be thinking and sensitive beings was actually their greatest asset in this struggle. He pointed back to the Manifesto of Smallness, presented some years ago and its points of how the struggle would be won! Smallness is Greatness! he ended his agitated speach... and all the gnomes in the audience hummed... as usual...