lördag 4 december 2010

Report from Gnomantanamo Bay


- Good evening dear and eager viewers! Tonight we bring you a report on how things are down at the Terrorist Detention Centre at Gnomantanamo Bay. How are things, we ask the Combat Gnome?

- Pretty awful! These Terror Santas haven't got any manners at all, so we have to teach'em the hard way. Nothing a hickory baseball bat can't fix!

- Let me out of here you lousy midget son of a bitch!

- You hear? No manners whatsoever! But I'll teach'm!

- Why is he protesting?

- This lying bastard claims that he was just minding his own business delivering x-mas presents to an orphange! Do you believe that? They'll stop at nothing in their filthy terrorist business. To deliver nasty bombs and the Great Gnome Master knows what!

- You damned motherfucking dwarf! Why did you have to destroy all the orphan's x-mas presents?

- Tsss, tsss... yeh hear? Claims to be the saviour of innocent animals, women and children... As far as we know he could very well be a paedophile! That would explain his interest in children...

- We hear of children and social workers meeting to demonstrate against your violence against innocent Santas just working to make children happy, who hasn't got any family. What do you respond to that?

- They are naive and basically misinformed by the huge traditional apparatus of the x-mas lobby. Merchants and thiefs, basically if you ask me! But this will be explained to you by Professor Svinhufvud. He will reveal the truth about this whole business of Santas and stuff!
- When can we expect this enlightenment?
- Tomorrow he told me...
- I thank the Combat Gnome for this report and we turn to other news...

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