torsdagen den 23:e december 2010
The Santas are all Guilty
- Good evening dwarves, gnomes and folks! We have with us tonight on a link Professor Svinhufvud from Dwarvesville and live in the Studio the Garden Gnome Guide. What is your response to yesterday's pointless accusations Professor Svinhufvud?
- Well eh! What do you expect dealing with scumbags like that? I'll expalin by the force of the metaphore: "If you take that old tale about the the frog and scorpion, where the scorpion asks the frog if can take a hike on the frog's back crossing the river.
-Oh no, says the frog, I ain't that stupid. You will sting me and then I'll die!
- No you're quite wrong, says the scorpion, cause then we'll both die and I'm neither stupid nor suicidal! The frog starts thinking and comes to the conclusion that what the scorpion made sense and agree to take him across the river. Halfway out in the stream the scorpion stings the frog. With his dying breath the frog screams:
- But you promised and now you will also die...
- Sorry, said the scorpion, but it is my nature!" So you see, you may have illusions of the actions of certain people, but in the end they will act according to what's in their nature.
- Oh I see. What's up in the Santa Anti-Terror Campaign?
- Well we are now in the position of intensifying the finnish of the campaign! During the last 24 hours we have rounded 600 more Santas and sent them where they belong to Gnomantanamo Bay. But the Garden Gnome Guide knows more.
- What can you say about the state of things today?
- We are now entering the beginning of the end and we are hunting down the last ones of these fake and false Santas. But it is difficult, thanks to these false accusations from sources like Wackoleakes, and people tend to behave with suspicion against us. They ask us if it is really necessary to take the Santas away and if we don't understand that the kids are becoming sad when they see Santas being arrested in every street corner. Well I can only tell you only this: - A Gnome has to do what a Gnome has to do!
- That's is a remarkably straightforward answer!
- It is isn't it! I'm known to have a skill with public relations. I'm also known as a very very humble Gnome before I went into public relations! Doubtless, it would have been better to put me in the front rather than the Combat Gnome!
- How so?
- Certain problems can be solved with a baseball bat, others not! A nice and polite language is often more efficient than the most powerful blast with the baseball bat. Words rather than hard hickory! But read me right! We are determined to bring this campaign to a total success, be sure of that!
- I can't say it more elegantely myself! And I, Ambjoern Svinhufvud, promise that in the end, I and my forces will prevail. Let there be no doubt about that!
- We thank the Garden Gnome Guide and Professor Svinhufvud for reassuring us of a Merry Merry X-mas! That's all dwarves, gnomes and folks!